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Today, I began with the self criticism again. I had started to draw a bird and a wing, and the self doubt creeped in again. I wasn’t satisfied with my results. That’s when I wrote “Am I flying now, or am I simply losing feathers?” I knew when I was writing the words that I wasn’t supposed to be thinking that way, yet I was. I read a book about mindfulness once, Calming Your Anxious Mind: How Mindfulness & Compassion Can Free You from Anxiety, Fear, & Panic by Jeffrey Brantley and Jon Kabat-Zinn. One of the mindfulness exercises involved allowing yourself to have thoughts and not judge those thoughts. You simply allow them to be, and you acknowledge them as you are meditating. So I had the thought, acknowledged it in the drawing and moved on with more drawing. I came to the realization that whenever I feel doubt about the work, I need to just keep drawing, and things may resolve themselves (or not), but there’s always a new day and a new drawing to move on to next.

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